Meathead's World

Are you really the "you" you remember?

2007-04-19T21:21:00.001-04:00

A really good friend and I were watching the series premier of "Drive" this weekend (the first three episodes are faboo!) and they revealed the past of one of the characters played by Nathan Fillion (Go Captain Tightpants! Woo-hoo!) and Dansingjack raised an interesting point during the discussion that followed this weekend. I know, I know, a Fox program? Engender discussion not of the "OMG, did you see the boobs she had? Yeah, scary. The discussion was about repression and memory and it went something like this:

When something that we are not comfortable with in our past happens, and we decide to change our lives for the better (or worse, depending on your point of view) does that person that we were really go away like a lot of us like to believe, or is the old us just lurking beneath the surface waiting for the right trigger?

I'm fairly certain I remember my past. But that conversation made me wonder: With some of the event in my past, have I tinted them to camouflage what I really did, or do I remember them the right way?

I remember leaving random roses. I know I did that.

I don't remember a conversation I might have had on a difficult religious subject that may have caused a rift in a friendship, only that the friend stopped calling.

I remember being badly hurt in most of my relationships. I know I felt that.

I don't remember why I got dumped, except for what I "remember".

Did some of the people I knew really do and say the things I "remember" them saying or did I fictionalize it to lessen the pain and the anger that I felt towards those individuals?

I used to be certain in my beliefs about my past.

Now? I'm not so sure.

I mean, I know what I remember, but does it jive with what they remember?

Of course, if I did post what I remember, I'm certain that they person who I think did whatever it was that they did to me will remember something completely different that makes me look like the bad guy instead of the wronged party. That's a natural tendency, I believe, to cast yourself in the best light possible. This makes the entire exercise moot, truth be told.

Why?

Simply because after anywhere from 5 years to a decade everyone is different.

I'm not the same guy I was in some respects, but in other respects I haven't changed a bit. But the overall effect is like "new me" all over again.

I have a different take on life now that I'm 32. I have a different religious standpoint, a different political standpoint, a different roommate and even some tattoos.

I'm not the same person I was in University.

I'm not the same person I was in High School.

Heck, I'm not even the same person I was when I started the job I'm currently at.

How do we really know that we know what we know?

I guess we'll never know...come on loyal readers, give me your takes on it!

I just don't understand some people...

2007-02-02T00:26:00.000-05:00

OK, so here's the deal.

Everyone knows I have a dog. I do mean EVERYONE. She is my pride and joy. She's a happy-go-lucky, full-tilt Siberian Husky. She has all the options that a dog should have, including wagging tail, a full set of sharp teeth, claws and a love of peanut butter that has to be seen to be believed.

I went to walk her at about 10:00 tonight and as I was going out, another dog owner, who I thought was a friend (more on this later) was coming in. To make her transition faster (coming through the security door) I took my dog down another fight of stairs to clear the stair well. The stair well isn't that big to begin with, and with two owners and two dogs, it can get tight. Also, this dog owner was out in -10 degree weather in warm-up pants, a light coat and no hat. Her face was bright red and she LOOKED cold. I figured if I took my dog down a landing, she'd be able to get in faster.

A little back story here. Yesterday, I was out in the dog run with the same owner, her dog, and another pug and her owner. Well, this pug was harassing the border collie of the owner in question, sticking her nose right in his junk, and eventually, the border collie had had enough and snapped at the pug, and basically tried to eat it. I know the border collie. He would NEVER actually hurt another dog on purpose, but the attack was a warning, nothing more, and I thought nothing of it. I mean my dog and the border collie play with their teeth all the time and I think nothing of it. It's what dogs do. At this point, taking Thora out for a pee, I'm not even thinking about that. It doesn't even cross my head.

OK, back to my narrative.

So I take Thora down a flight, to let the border collie and his owner in. Simple right?

Apparently not.

The owner comes in, looks down at the landing and says: "What was that for?"
"To make it easier for you to come in," I reply.
"Do you have a problem with my dog?" she asks as she pulls open the hallway door and heads to the elevators, her back now completely to me.
"No, not at all," I reply, to her rapidly fading back.
"Yeah, whatever," she says. The door closes.

So I have my dog in the dog run in back of our building, and what do you know, but the border collie's owner comes out and starts reaming me out.

"That was smart," she says.
"What?" I ask.
"You heard me," she shoots back. "That was really smart. If you have a problem with my dog, you come to me."

Now, I'm completely non-plussed by this, kind of stunned, actually, because this is TOTALLY out of left field. I'm still trying to figure out what I did that was that heinous. So this woman tees off on me again. This time she starts teeing off on the fact that apparently my roommate has been shunning her too. She calls my roommate a bitch, calls me an asshole, all because, apparently, my "perfect dog Thora" (said sarcastically, of course) is too good for her border collie. I'm trying VERY hard not to get pissed off, and finally, I can't take it anymore.

"Look," I shoot back at her, thoroughly pissed by now, "I don't care if you're mad at all the men in the world, it doesn't give you the right to come down here and go off on me like that."

She, of course, ignores this and finishes by telling me, sarcastically, "Don't you worry, my dog will never be near your fucking dog again. Never fucking again."

I'm OK with this whole not seeing her or her dog again thing. She strikes me as more than a little unstable and constantly pissed at the men in the world. But I'm still upset, because I consider myself a level-headed guy, you know? I mean this is upsetting me, and I'm really pissed by now and really holding it in, but I did manage to get off a parting shot:

"You know, maybe it's not your dog that's the problem here." And I left it at that.

I'm still wondering what the fuck I did that was so wrong. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, I did nothing wrong, so if anyone can point out here what I did that was so bad, I'd greatly appreciate it!

Hate Laws - Applied to Whites Only?

2007-01-17T10:52:00.000-05:00

I found this article while doing a news search for lacrosse:

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/2...jectid=10419424

It's actually a very interesting situation.

The law itself, as the article states, is very clear.

It is designed to punish those who commit crimes "motivated by hatred, bias or prejudice, based on the actual or perceived race, colour, [b]religion[/b], national origin, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation or gender identity of another individual or group of individuals". I don't give a **** of you're PURPLE, if you're beating someone and saying "**** (insert color here) people!" and the person you're beating happens to be that color, it's a hate crime.

For too long there has been a culture of entitlement that is race based.

For too long the race card has been played and people have backed off.

For too long crimes have gone unpunished because of fear of seeming "racist".

As you can see from the law excerpt above, it applies to ANY colour.

It's not a law applied only to white people.

It's not a law only applied to black people.

It's not a law applied only to yellow or red or brown people.

It's a law that applies to EVERYONE, and if you are going to break it, you deserve to be punished for it.

I don't care if you're white or black or red or yellow or brown or taupe or mauve or magenta. If you commit a crime against another racial group, as this gang obviously did, then you deserve to be punished for it.

Of course, the black community will call the Hate Law racist now, it's to be expected. It will come as no surprise to anyone if the teenagers charged (the youngest is 12?!?! WTF???) will play the race card as has so often been done in the past to excuse crimes.

The article has a caption that states: "Laws to protect black and other minorities from hate crimes are now being used against them as the US deals with a new wave of attacks." BULLSHIT!

The law was put into place to deter CRIMES, PERIOD. The law is blind. That's why Lady Justice is ALWAYS shown with a scales, a sword and BLINDFOLDED. She makes no distinction as to color, sexual orientation, age, religion or sex. Her laws are designed to be impartial and apply to everyone. Minorities have used the Hate Crimes laws to shelter their own activities and to protect themselves from the very same things that whites have been charged with, and now the law is being applied as it should: impartially.

Your race should not shield you from prosecution.

Your race should not make you above the law.

Laws are designed to be applied to everyone, no matter their race, sex, orientation, religion or age, and it's about time they bloody well did so.

2006-12-15T10:42:00.000-05:00

What did I post last year at around this time? Oh, yeah...Yup, it's Merch-mas. That time of year when we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ by going out and blowing scads and scads of cash on useless trinkets and bibbledy-bobs that will get re-gifted anyways. Seriously, how did three wise men bringing gold and frankincense and myrrh to the saviour of man kind turn into a jolly fat man giving away rocking horses and toy trains and gewgaws to kids screaming for iPods and Dells and that their parents don't love them if they don't get them...

Personally, I bought gifts I bought for the ones I love based on the thought that think they might like them, and if they don't, there's ways around it. They can always resell the gifts I bought them because the gifts are transferable. They all got season tickets for the Toronto Rock. That's right, I'm spreading the lacrosse love around, baby. They now have tickets to the same insane sporting events I go to, and I think they might actually like it. If not, hey, their resale value is about $200, so that should make 'em happy. Turn the gift into cash and buy something for themselves that they actually want...and if they're internet savvy, they'll have found my blog by now and will know about the gifts, but at this point, I just don't care.

Yup. It's that friggin' time of year again. That time where you scour the crowded malls, pushing through the jostling, perspiring, smelly, insistent, rude crowd to get to the store that has what you think the people on your gift list want, only to find that they are sold out, or that it's $200 more than you expected...Me? I'm going gift certificates this year.

That's right.

None of this: "Well, I got you what I thought you wanted...don't you like puce colored wool sweaters?" or "Oh! A...what is this again? No, no, no, really, I love it!" Screw that. I'm getting everyone gift certificates and gift cards to their favourite stores so I don't have to cudgel my poor addled brains to try to figure out what they want. Nothing is more frustrating to me that trying to get my parents or my brother to tell me what they want for Christmas. Seriously...I mean it's KILLING ME trying to figure out what my brother wants. I know, I know, it should be easy. After all, he's family, and he's only 4.5 years younger than me, but our lives have taken radically different paths. I mean, he's experimented with drugs. The strongest drugs I've ever done was maybe a little weed on New Years back in 1997. He parties like a fiend. I'm usually in bed by 11. I mean, really what do I get for him? I can't get him nothing, that's just inconsiderate, but I figure a gift card to HMV might be just the thing. I think he'll appreciate the fact that I'm completely out of touch, and a $50 Gift Card will let him know exactly how much I'm willing to spend on him so that in future, if he decides he wants a real gift instead of a gift certificate, he knows what sort of price range we're looking at here.

The parents are easy: wine. South African, Chilean, Aussie. Reds. Whites give my mom headaches. I have a few in mind, but I might go Vintages this year at the LCBO and surprise them.

The roommate? That's a little more difficult. Anyone know where I can find a copy of Rammstein's Volkerball? Yeah...thought so...HMV is really not a help and anywhere I order from won't have it shipped by Christmas, so I'm up a certain creek without a paddle on that one...I'll figure something out...oh, and gifts for Martin, Pattie, Jason, Karen, Elsie, Rose, Calvin, Joe, Bonnie, Grandma and Grampa, Sylvia, Billy, Colene, Ron...*sigh* at $50 each, I'm looking at $1000 easy in gift certificates...maybe I'll just get 'em $25 gift certificates instead...yeah, that's the ticket...

See what I mean?

Merry Merch-mas everyone! I'm off to the pub to get drunk!

Meathead's World

2006-11-21T12:57:00.000-05:00

Meathead's World

How sad is it when CNN, a NEWS network, devotes time to something like this when there are so MANY other events that could be covered?

So a comedian called out a couple of people who had been heckling him at a comedy club. So what?

So he used a word that only one group of people can use without fear of reprisal. So what?

What has America, "Land of the Free"(tm), come to when a mere word (in this case, nigger) can end someone's career, or at least put a limping career out of its misery? What does the word mean? Seriously.

What does the N-Word mean?
According to the Merriam Webster dictionary:

Main Entry: nig·ger
Pronunciation: 'ni-g&r
Function: noun
Etymology: alteration of earlier neger, from Middle French negre, from Spanish or Portuguese negro, from negro black, from Latin niger
1 usually offensive; see usage paragraph below : a black person
2 usually offensive; see usage paragraph below : a member of any dark-skinned race
3 : a member of a socially disadvantaged class of persons
usage Nigger in senses 1 and 2 can be found in the works of such writers of the past as Joseph Conrad, Mark Twain, and Charles Dickens, but it now ranks as perhaps the most offensive and inflammatory racial slur in English. Its use by and among blacks is not always intended or taken as offensive, but, except in sense 3, it is otherwise a word expressive of racial hatred and bigotry.

Hmmm...so, the N-word means black.
And the black americans object to being called the N-word. It's a word that has been reserved, through pop-culture, as usable only by one class or group of people and whose use by anyone not of that race incites charges of racism and hatred.

Funny, but I don't recall ever reacting as violently as I have seen blacks react to being called the N-word when someone has called me a fag, a slope, a chink, a slant, a cracker, whitey, etc. Why is it that a little 6 letter word so inflames one race, but similar insults thrown at other races don't prodice the same reaction?

Hopefully someone can help me understand this, because as a nitro-hauling, slant-eyed, dry-cleaning penny-pinching chinkie, I just don't get the furor that shutting down a heckler has caused.

I'm not trying to start a blogspot flame-war, I'm really trying to understand. And I know that some of the first responses that I will get will be of the "You don't understand, you're not black and your people were never enslaved..." but I'd like to point out that for decades, Chinese immigrants were paid less than nothing, forced to carry unstable nitroglycerine and tri-nitro-toluene into rail tunnels while being held hostage in the American west to build railways for the white man. I have been denied a hotel room in the American South, I have been spit on by people in my home land of China and politely ignored in Scotland, my other homeland. I have been on the other end of racism, but of all the epithets I have had thrown at me, I never understood the furor over the N-word...

Meathead's World

2006-11-07T09:40:00.000-05:00

Meathead's World

Murder Suspect Gunned Down by Police

Recently, and I'm talking yesterday recently, I found out some shicking and saddening news. Yesterday morning, an online friend of mine was stabbed to death in a domestic dispute with her husband. He was later gunned down by the Philadelphia Police when he came at them with a knife.

I wanted to take a few minutes to pass on my condolences to her teenage sons and to the rest of her family. I know that these are difficult times, but the night is always darkest just before the dawn and the new day will bring new hope and hopefully the start of the healing process.

You are gone, Louise, but not forgotten. Your legacy in photographs lives on. We shall not forget you or David.

Meathead's World

2006-10-25T12:01:00.000-04:00

Meathead's World

It seems I always update this thing at the worst times…funny that…but in this particular case, it’s not a bad thing, but rather a cautiously optimistic thing.

On Wednesday, October 18 2006 my maternal grandmother was hospitalized and diagnosed with colon cancer. Her hospitalization was as a result of sudden blood loss from an area that hadn’t experience blood loss in almost 30 years.

After her hospitalization, she was placed under observation and had a CT scan over the weekend to determine the location and extent of the growth that was causing her discomfort. She had her operation at 1030EDT on Monday, October 23 2006, and from all reports, she is recovering nicely. My mother told me that the doctors had removed as much of the growth as they could and would be keeping her for observation over the next few days.

More info as events warrant!

Meathead's World

2006-09-15T11:59:00.000-04:00

Video Game to Blame for Dawson College Shootings?

The recent shootings at Dawson College in Montreal are a stark reminder that all is not well in the world. This incident has made me realise how vulnerable and fragile the human body really is and how precious life is. It has also made me think about why something like this happens. And for those of you that are involved directly in the Dawson College shootings, I want to apologise in advnace for what I am going to write here if it does offend any of you. Offending people is NOT my intention with this blog post, it is to examine what happened, and more importantly WHY this happened.

The media has this strange desire to blame everything and everyone but the responsible parties in this mass shootings and murder case. Kimveer Gill was a loner, yes. Kimveer Gill was a "vampire", yes. Kimveer Gill was a member of a rifle club, yes. Kimveer Gill played video games, yes. Kimveer Gill was potentially mentally unstable, yes.

Was a video game to blame for this event?
The media seems to think so, blaming a video game called Super Columbine Massacre for his actions.

While it is the quick and easy thing to do: blame video games, blame his style of clothing, blame his beliefs, it is not always right, and that it what really gets to me.

We have an individual who, for all intents and purposes, went haywire and shot up his school, and for the media it's as simple as "Oh, well, he played this video game, and he was a "vampire" and he dressed funny, so that must be what did it." There is no examination of his past, no examination of home life, sexual history, family history, nothing. Just anonymous posts on a website called vampirefreaks.com and the media goes "Yes! That MUST be it!"

What we need to examine are the reasons WHY he played the video games he did. WHY he thought the way he did. WHY his parents didn't do anything to help him (if they did try, then I laud them, unfortunately some people just cannot be helped).

Video games and websites don't MAKE you do anything. I have yet to see a video game hold my parrot hostage for more playing time in the PS2. I have never seen a Nintendo DS take change out of my wallet for smokes. I have yet to see a GameCube frog-march someone to the store to pick up more ammo for a 12-guage.

A video game can't MAKE you do anything.

The predisposition to violence must have been there before Kamveer Gill picked up his rifle. By necessity it MUST have been there. I like games just as much as the next person (OK, I game on an N64 but still) and I play first-person shooter games, but I have never had the urge to pick up a rifle and go plinking at University. I was a goth. I don't dress like a Goth, but being a Goth isn't the clothing, as the media will insist. Goth is a mind set, a set of beliefs, and an appreciation for the stately and beautiful. It is NOT a fascination with death, killing and the dead as the media seems to think.

What made Kamveer Gill do what he did?

I am calling on all media outlets to seriously examine what he has done isntead of looking for the quick and easy out.

Well, I'm not proud...and here's why...

2006-08-21T19:12:00.000-04:00

So something happened to day and I'm not proud.

I hit one of my neighbours dogs.

Before PETA comes down on my ass like a bag of hammers and the rest of you animal lovers start howling for my blood, let me explain. My puppy, Thora, was in the dog run at our condo with Oreo, our neighbours Border Collie, and she took a poop. Yes, I know, all well and good, because dogs do that sort of thing. Well, this time, there was blood in her poop, and not only blood in her poop, but also blood on her fur around her bum.

Naturally I went to panic stations, as I LOVE my dog, and with blood in her poop, it's always a concern.

Well, I call Thora over and try to get her to lie down, so I can take a look and try to determine what's wrong, and my neighbour's border collie comes running over, and almost knocks me over while I'm trying to look at Thora's butt. My neighbour starts calling out "Oreo! Oreo!" and starts trying to wave her dog over. In the mean time, I'm trying to keep my puppy quiet so that I can take a look at what's going on down there, and Oreo keep charging in to look. I started waving my hand, not looking, to try to keep him away. Of course, this means that he thinks I'm trying to play with him and keeps trying to nose at Thora while she's on her back, legs spread, tail pulled back, and I do NOT want him there. My neighbour, in the mean time, continues to simply call her dog instead of stepping in to grab Oreo. I don't know if she could have, I know that she's been having problems with her back, but there it is.

Well, I made contact. A good solid open handed smack on the butt, and he skitters away. I didn't hit him that hard. No yelp, no grunt, no nothing, but it was enough to keep him away while I tried to look, and determined that, yes, indeed, that was blood on Thora's butt and it seemed to be seeping a little from her sphincter.

In the mean time, my neighbour is aghast because I swatted her dog away and made contact, and she starts cursing at me to never to hit her dog. I apologised profusely, explaining that I was really concerned about my dog and I was trying to keep him away. In the mean time, she still just stands there, calling her dog, instead of trying to get in there and grab him. I continued to apologise for hitting Oreo, but apparently, she wasn't going to hear it, and as a parting shot told me she would never hit my dog.

I feel really shitty about it because I like Oreo and my neighbour, and I would NEVER hurt another animal on purpose. I don't know if my actions are justifiable, but I do feel bad about it. I was trying to keep Oreo away from Thora so that I could ascertain what was wrong with her, and he was being a pain in the butt, but I hope that my neighbour can find it in her heart to forgive me, beacuse I don't want Thora to lose a playmate in Oreo, and I don't want to lose a friend in my neighbour.

Thanks for listening people.

UPDATE!
Found what was causing the bleeding. It was, as my vet puts it, a "dietary indiscretion". Apparently, Thora got into something she shouldn't have, namely some wood chips. Her second poop of the evening was still slightly bloody, but in the last piece expelled, I could find some semi-hard, squarish, woody-like pieces, which was probably a part of the table at my parent's place that she was gnawing on.

Whew!

Again, to my neighbour, I'm sorry!

Anti-Gay Protesters Bring Shame on Themselves

2006-07-07T09:29:00.000-04:00

Anti-Gay Church Protests at Soldier's Funeral

OK, see, this ^^^ just makes me sick. A man has died protecting freedom and promoting democracy and the same 1st Amendment rights and freedoms that you are using and you use this Constitutional Amendment to ruin his funeral? That's not right. As a matter of fact, it's sad. Sad, sickening and reprehensible. I am not anti-gay, or anti-war, or anti-protest, but there is a better time and place.

To claim that God is punishing America for harbouring gays by killing its soldiers in Iraq is, well, ludicrous at best. At worst it is farcical, narrow-minded and extremely indicative of the political climate and the direction America is heading in collectively under the current administration.

The sad thing is, even though the soldier's family has sued, it will get tossed in court. I believe the family is suing for causation of emotional distress but the judge will probably argue that i's not applicable because the church members were using their right to Free Speech.

I would like to address the next part of this to Sean Hannity, who claimed that the "anti-war left" organized the protest:

GET YOUR FUCKING HEAD OUT OF YOUR FUCKING ASS!

It was not the "anti-war left" that organized this, but a group from a Baptist Church! A religious, right-wing group.

Right-Wing Christian radicals often wonder why people either hate them or ridicule them. It's not that hard to figure out when they make it so fucking easy. I mean, seriously...protesting gays at a funeral where a soldier died protecting YOUR 1st Amendment rights is fucking ludicrous...sorry, but this just...gah!

More later when I don't feel like shoving a dull pencil into Rev. Phelp's and Sean Hannity's eye...

Meathead's World

2006-06-30T09:50:00.000-04:00

Meathead's World

This story originally appeared in The News Tribune.com:
Lacrosse in the Tacoma Dome for $200, Alex

JOHN MCGRATH; THE NEWS TRIBUNE
Published: June 28th, 2006 01:00 AM

One of the perks of my job is I get to learn something new all the time.

The other day, for instance, I found out Tacoma could land a team in the National Lacrosse League, which plays an indoor version of North America’s oldest sport.

I did not know about the National Lacrosse League. For that matter, I did not know lacrosse was played indoors.

Maybe I need to get out more, so I can discover all the other sports that are in.

It’d be one thing if the National Lacrosse League – or NLL – was as new to the table as all those poker faces sitting around Chris Moneymaker. But the NLL has been in existence for 20 years, long enough to boast a Hall of Fame.

This year’s inaugural class included NLL founders Russ Cline and Chris Fritz, players Paul and Gary Gait, and the late Les Bartley, a coach. See what I mean about learning all the time?

A few days ago, I did not know the NLL from the MLL – the Major Lacrosse League, which plays, I presume, outdoors – and yet now I can rattle off the entire roster of NLL Hall of Famers.

I’ll take indoor lacrosse legends for $200, Alex.

Tacoma’s connection to the indoor circuit remains tenuous. A wire-service story released last week suggested either Seattle’s KeyArena or the Tacoma Dome could be home for an expansion team whose application was submitted to the NLL by Bob Whitsitt, the former president of the Seattle SuperSonics, Portland Trail Blazers and Seattle Seahawks.

The team would debut in 2008, and while the bid awaits formal approval, Whitsitt’s credibility in sports business circles commands attention. Besides, as commissioner Jim Jennings has pointed out, a Seattle-area franchise would create a Pacific Northwest rivalry.

Portland’s newly conceived Lumberjax were one of 11 teams in a 2006 NLL season that concluded this past spring with Colorado’s 16-9 victory over Buffalo in the championship game.

The NLL will expand to New York in 2007, and also to Chicago, where the franchise founders already have completed the heavy-lifting work of a cool nickname: Chicago has been christened the “Shamrox.”

Other nicknames that might look good on a T-shirt: The Toronto Rock, the Rochester Knighthawks, the Edmonton Rush and the Colorado Mammoth.

I’m not sure about you, but I’d be inclined to check out the details of a game wrap-up headlined under “MAMMOTH-RUSH.”

On the other hand, what’s with the Philadelphia Wings and Buffalo Bandits? Wouldn’t those nicknames be better if they were reversed – the Philadelphia Bandits and Buffalo Wings? But as I just found out about the NLL, I guess it’s not my place to second guess.

Indoor lacrosse is played on a surface that has the dimensions of a hockey rink, replete with boards and unbreakable glass panels. But the operation is far from rinky-dink.

Average attendance last season was a respectable 10,804. Games are scheduled on weekends – Fridays through Sundays, usually at 7:30 p.m. – with some matinees mixed in on Saturdays and Sundays.

One intriguing aspect is of the NLL is its cable-TV contract on OLN. (In September, to showcase its new emphasis on sports programming, OLN will change its name to VERSUS.)

Another virtue of the NLL is its compact season: The schedule is similar to football – eight home games, eight away – between January and April. Playoffs are single elimination, as is the championship. There’s even an All-Star game.

Rules and terminology are virtually identical to hockey, except there’s a lot more scoring, and the sheet of ice is covered by a turf carpet. Games are divided into 15-minute quarters, with a 12-minute halftime.

And then there are some subtleties about indoor lacrosse that require, well, being there. In a Feb. 5 game between the Toronto Rock and the Calgary Roughnecks, a Rock player was credited with collecting his 2,000th loose ball in a 14-10 victory.

I’m skeptical of the Tacoma Dome’s history with alternative sports leagues. OK, I’m skeptical of alternative sports leagues in general.

But the building could use a tenant, even if it’s only for eight home games a year, and the NLL’s network-television contract indicates stability. Whitsitt’s turbulent reign over the Trail Blazers – and his less-than-regal exit from the Seahawks – cannot obscure the fact he’s still a sharp dude who wouldn’t invest $5 million foolishly.

If KeyArena doesn’t prove to be a prudent match for an NLL franchise, it’d be kind of fun to watch lacrosse in the Dome, no?

Put it this way: Any league that keeps statistics for loose balls is a league that could prove to be a refreshing diversion to a relentless menu of basketball during February and March.

By the way, the name of the Rock star who became the first NLL player to reach the 2,000th loose-ball milestone?

Jim Veltman. His nickname is “Scoop.”

I think I’ll stay with indoor lacrosse legends for $400, Alex.

My favourite soprt is getting press! Positive press! YAY!

Meathead's World

2006-06-30T09:49:00.000-04:00

Meathead's World

This story originally appeared in

Meathead's World

2006-06-27T00:59:00.000-04:00

I would like to write a quick thank you to the Mississauga Fire Department for their very quick response to an emergency situation in our building last night.

At approximately 11:52PM, someone pulled the fire alarm as they supposedly saw large quantities of smoke in the basement of our building. Approximtely 5 minutes later, Missisauga Fire was on the scene, and they determined that the real issue was with a broken sprinkler head on the 4th floor. Approximately 40 minutes later we were able to return to our units and the sprinkler head was repaired.

Thank you Mississauga Fire Depratment!

Meathead's World

2006-06-22T16:55:00.000-04:00

Meathead's World

Similarities between Abraham Lincoln and J.F.Kennedy
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford".
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford".

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the "kicker":

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was in Marilyn Monroe.

AND.....................:
Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse...
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to atheater...

Just some random musings on two of Americas greatest Presidents.

Meathead's World

2006-06-15T09:23:00.000-04:00

Meathead's World
http://www.evanwashere.com/StolenSidekick

OK, so I'm working on a kick ass video for hte destruction of the Four Sisters.
They finally came down with fanfare and applause, at 7:37AM, Monday, June 12, 2006.
Got some really great footage from my friend's penthouse condo, and some great before and after pics, but iMovie is being a bitch and not letting me stick in a short movie clip in the middle of a slide show. Once it's done I'll post the link here for all to see!

Had to put this up

2006-06-09T09:49:00.000-04:00

http://www.evanwashere.com/StolenSidekick/

Sorry, but this is just too good. Hitler joke gets bumped for this.

This is a barometer of how we would get along in real life:

2006-06-07T09:38:00.000-04:00

Your response to this joke will more than determine how well we would get along if we ever met in real life:

Why didn't Hitler drink Tequila?

Because it made him mean.

Please gauge your reaction on this comparison scale and we'll go from there:
1. Guffawing uproariously - we'll get along like fish and chips
2. Scratching your ehad wondering who Hitler was and/or what Tequila is - Ummm...yeah, the Strawberry Shortcake and My Little Pony blogs are over there-->...
3. Face wrinkled in disgust - Yeah, like oil and water we are...oh well, your loss.

2006-05-31T12:46:00.000-04:00

Well, folks, in just under 2 weeks, the Four Sisters will be coming down.

Those of you who live or lived in Toronto at one point, or who have sailed Lake Ontario, or driven to Toronto from the 'States will know what I'm talking about. Those of you who are not from Toronto will probably be scratching your heads and thinking, "Four Sisters? What the heck is he talking about?"

No, it's not a visit from the in-laws, it's the Ontario Power Generation Lakeview Generating Site.
Its four huge smokestacks were used as landmarks for sailors crossing Lake Ontario in every direction, and were especially useful in getting yourself home from Niagara Falls or Port Boozy...Sorry, I meant Dalhousie, and in a few weeks (actually in 11 days) they will be gone forever. Yet another change on the face of Ontario. What they will be replaced with is anyone's guess, but I'm going to say a collection of god-awful condominiums will shortly spring up to take their place.

The four huge white smokestacks of the Lakeview Generating Plant were silenced in February of 2006 after over 43 years of continuous service. All the employees there were laid off, and the plant was stripped to the walls of all available materiel. Now that OPG has moved away from coal-fired plants, under increasing pressure from environmental groups and lobbyists, the plant was shut 4 years ahead of schedule, but sufficient power generation to replace its lost capacity is not yet in place. It was originally supposed to have been shut in 2010, but closed early under increasing pressure from environmentalists who have blocked additional creation and building of replacement power plants, potentially leaving Ontario with yet MORE shortages and rolling brownouts this summer if we are not careful. How such short-sightedness was permitted is beyond me, but I suppose if you needed the votes that badly, it's a concession you would have to make.

Anyrood, for those folks what like 'splosions, the plant will be demolished via implosion on Monday, June 12, 2006 at approximately 0800h, but actual zero hour could be as early as 0730h if the demolitions crew doesn't hit any unforeseen snags. All I know is that come 0715h I'll be knocking on my friends condo door on the 10th floor to get in to set up a video camera to get it all on tape. With any luck, it will be a clear morning and I'll be able to get some spectacular shots of the demolition. If it's not a clear day, darn it, I'll just have to drive down to the nearest park to see it for myself! :D

2006-05-03T12:28:00.000-04:00

Just some food for thought in this age of rapidly rising gas prices. Ya know, it wasn't that long ago that people thought $0.55/L was pricey...I can see a day in the near future when we look at the pump and say: "Hey, $4.75/L ain't that bad...it was $5.25 last week..."

2006-04-28T13:15:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday, dear Tim!
Happy Birthday to you!

Well, it’s April 28th again, and you all know what that means.

Someone, somewhere, somehow, is having a birthday.

Today happens to be the birthday of not only my boss (who is expecting twins, BTW), but also of a friend that I seem to have misplaced about 12 years ago and have not been able to find since.

It has been 12 years since I graduated from Upper Canada College, and in that 12 years I have had too many jobs to count, made and lost a multitude of friends, dated a grand total of 3 women (yeah, go figure…in high school I dated no one, I hit University and beyond and I’m, all of a sudden, in one long term relationship after another, but that’s ponderage for another blog entry) and lost one true friend.
At least that’s the way I saw him, and I have no evidence that proves otherwise. He and I went our separate ways out of high school. I stayed local and completed a Honours BA with a Specialist in English and a Minor in French as a Second Language through the University of St. Michael’s College at the University of Toronto (USMC/UT) and got 90% of the way towards getting my Certificate in Teaching English as a Second Language at the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education at the University of Toronto (OISE/UT).

Tim? Well, Tim went to Columbia Medical School at last report and has since, apparently completed his internship and gone on to become very successful. That is if my mother is to be believed. As for the reports from Zygmunt and his ex-wife Judy? Well, those are non-existent. At last check, I hadn’t been to see either of them in 12 years, so I have absolutely no news whatsoever.

I miss Tim.

I miss his sense of humour, his hair, his smile, and most importantly, I miss the rapport that we used to share.

Two peas in a pod.

Thick as thieves.

Brothers from another mother.

G and the White Boy.

MC Yello and DJ White Boy.

Let me tell you, sometimes it was hard to tell us apart, even though we looked nothing alike.

The last Original homies at UCC (OK, except for Kawaja and Chen and Cipolla and MacKenzie, but all of y’all are sheep following the original shepherds, baby, alladem be biters! Peace!) in an age of home-boy and hip-hop trendiness. Hell, Tim and I were nature boys and homies back in 1989, BEFORE it was cool to be non-black hip-hop fiends.

Then, after the summer of 1994, Tim went to Columbia and I went to the University of St. Michaels College at U of T and we lost touch. Not that we didn’t try (OK, I’d like to think that I tried, I’m not so sure Tim did…I hardly got any e-mail from him). But Tim, if you’re out there, try to track me down. Even to tell me I’m an ass and I never kept in touch. Leave me a comment, anything, just let me know you‘re still out there, alive and doing well.

I’d like a chance to catch up on the last 12 years, find out if you’re married (are you and Paulina still together or is that stretching it a bit?) if you’ve got kids, did your plans, aspirations and life really turn out the way you thought it would?

If anyone knows Timothy J., his e-mail was timmyj@*******.com, and then tj82@columbia.edu but I have no idea what it is now.

Just remember MC Yello and DJ White Boy…PEACE!

PS - Answer me this: How many birthdays does the average man have?
The person who gets this right gets kudos and respect from me. :D

Oops! Looks like my life is pretty boring, eh?

2006-04-27T08:42:00.000-04:00

Well, it looks like I'm not keeping up with my responsibilities here, fellow bloggers, am I? For that I crave your forgiveness. It's been rather hectic the past month or so, what with the recent hirings, firings and departures. For the first time in 4.5 years I'm lone wolfing it and I couldn't be happier...at least that's what I keep telling myself. The new car is working out great. I've only put about, lessee here, ummm...carry the four...910 km on it in the last 6 weeks, so I have been behaving. Other than the jaunt to Buffalo, I've behaved with this one. Primarily because of the knowledge that there is no way on God's green Earth that I'll be able to afford a new car in 2 or 3 years, but also beacuse I LIKE this car.

More updates as events warrant.

BTW, just looking for some opinions and stories:
Is it wrong to want to bang a co-worker like a screen door in a windstorm?
Have you ever had an office romance? How did it end up?

Sooo...it's been a while...

2006-03-22T14:26:00.000-05:00

Yeah...been a while since I been here to update...I'm almost getting as bad as my old friend Mossy when it comes to updating, but I guess in between lacrosse, Jackson his dog and his new wife Jenn, he's got a full plate of stuff going on.

Me, I'm just trying to get by as best I can with too much out-go and not enough income. I mean if it weren't for Debbie, my wonderful roommate, I'm certain we would all be out on the street somewhere, because without her, I'd be toast...of course, we do have to rein in our profligate spending (something about buying a car, road-tripping on VISAs, buying lacrosse jerseys, and other stuff), but that's another story...

So yes, it is true. I am no longer vehicle-less.

I am now a proud owner of a "new to me" 1999 VW Golf CL 5-door. It's red, 2.0L, 4-cyl, 4-spd auto transmission, just tuned, new spark plugs, new tires and a boatload of attitude. The best part? It's 7 years old and only had 78 000KM on it!

I've got a name for it already too, because I name all my cars: SMARTIE!

So here are my cars' names (and yaer acquired in parenthesess) by model year:
1991 (1993 - 2) Acura Integra RS: Flit
1989 (1995 - 1) Buick LeSabre: Beast
1989 (2001 - 2) Ford Festiva CL: Bubble
1989 (1996 - 5) VolksWagen Golf CL: Skeeter
1996 (1997 - 2) Pontiac Bonneville STS SE: Goliath
1999 (2006 - ???) VolksWagen Golf CL: Smartie

Yeah, yeah, I know, not exactly original, but hey, they're my cars, I can name 'em whatever I want...and for the most part they like their names, which is why I've kept each for as long as I possibly could before the cost of repairs is larger than the bluebook value of the car and committing them to the boneyard. I seem to have a preference for VWs though. They seem to be the cars that have lasted me the longest and will last me the longest.

My aunt, who sold me her VW has driven VW Golf's in all of their incarnations, starting with a 1978 VW Rabbit (white), a 1986 VW Rabbit (maroon) , a 1989 VW Golf (blue), a 1996 Golf (blue), a 1999 VW Golf (red) and finally, a hiccough in the road, a 2006 Subaru Impreza (red). If I can think of anything else to add, I will, but for now, that's it...

No, wait, I do have something else to add: NASHVILLE STAR RULES! It's a LOT better than that day-glo abortion of a karaoke competition called American Idol...and it doesn't pre-empt my favourite new show "House", like the aforementioned day-glo abortion of a karaoke competition. I was a little upset to see Shy voted off last night, because quite frankly, I thought he had the most potential, but Mlle. LeCompte just blew me away with her take on Reba McIntyre...talk about pipes! And Ms. Torres? Dag, yo! Who knew there was that much voice in that tiny a body? Jared Ashley and Chris Young impressed me the most amongst the guys...you all ROCK!

2006-02-21T11:40:00.000-05:00

CONGRATULATIONS CANADA!

Congratulations to the Canadian Women for winning GOLD at the 2006 Torino Olympics!

2006-02-16T13:09:00.000-05:00

OMG! 2 posts in one day?
Yeah, well, a friend of mine posted his story at the Cinescape Message Boards and I just HAD to repost it here for everyone to see...thank you SLAMMY!

The One Word Which, When Appearing On A Strip Club Marquee, Requires Full
Attention

Right. So.

This happened back about five months ago, late October.

Friend of mine, let's call him Joe (because, after all, that's his name),
calls me up and asks if I want to come hang out for the weekend. Joe's an old
buddy of mine, lives in Richmond, VA (for those just familiarizing themselves
with the SlamShut Universe, I live with SlamWife in the outskirts of Washington,
DC, in a lovely little burg called Occoquan). Now, on this particular weekend,
or on the Friday preceding it, I'd just finished having some rather painful
dental work done, so I was sporting a rather prodigious
Everything-From-The-Neck-Up-Ache, and more importantly, a Plentiful Prescription
Of Potent Painkillers (Do Not Take With Alcohol Unless You Want Them To Work
Really, Really Well).

So I tell friend Joe that I'm in no shape to drive, and Joe, being a friend
indeed, tells me he'll drive up, pick my ass up, and drive back down. Well ain't
he a peach.So Saturday afternoon rolls around, and I've got me bags packed, and
Joe picks me up toot-smart at about 3:00 PM. We drive down to Richmond.

Now, about a mile or so up the road from Joe's house is a place called The
Paper Moon. The Paper Moon is the largest strip club in Richmond, and by virtue
of that, arguably the largest and fanciest one in all of Virginia (which is not
known for having great titty bars-- the rules are rather Southern and stringent,
but we'll get to that later). So we're ambling past the Paper Moon in Joe's
truck, and as we pass by, I read the marquee posted on the front of the building
through a Vicodin-induced haze. And after reading all of the promises of carnal
delight offered therein, I urgently asked Joe to pull over. (Actually, what I
did was scream "HOLYFUCKINSHITDUDEPULLOVERPULLOVERNOW!!!" And he did, asking
"What'sa matter? You have to puke?")

As we pulled to the side of the road, I opened the door and jumped out, and
ran back to read the sign again, rubbing my eyes like a sleepy kid staring at a
room full of Christmas presents. Joe followed quickly behind, and stood next to
me, scanning the sign and saying "Man, what the hell is wrong with you-- it's
just the Paper OOOOOOOOOOH." The "OOOOOOOOOOOH" part was when he got to the last
word on the strip club marquee, and full understanding set in. He'd seen what
I'd seen-- The One Word Which, When Appearing On A Strip Club Marquee, Requires
Full And Immediate Attention. There on the sign, after the fifteen or twenty
other words promising the same nudie thrills as always ("Over 4O Different
Girls! Private Dances! Richmond's Finest Adult Entertainment! Open 7 Days A
Week!"), it said this:

"October 26-30: MIDGETS."

Well.So.We stood there, scratching our heads, and formulated a plan: first
Joe's house, settle in, eat a nice meal, then hit the Alehouse, have a few nice
beers, then hit up the English pub for a few more, then slide over to the Paper
Moon and enjoy the finest in vertically-challenged burlesque entertainment. The
sky was purple and orange and filled with promises of trouble, or at least it
seemed to me, because I was on painkillers....Okay, that's enough for tonight.
It's 2AM. I've got a DVD to watch and a few beers to quaff before bedtime
(again, for those new to the SlamShut Universe, I work a schedule that would
drive most folks insane, but I have tomorrow off). Rest of the story tomorrow.

Right, so, okay.

So friend Joe and I fade back to his house, have a drink, and decide that
cooking at home is outside of our nightly job description. So we take care of a
few things 'round the house, then hop in the truck, head out to the Alehouse,
and order up some chow (burger for him, nice pile of chili for me), and a raft
of little beer samples from the cute little bartendress there. The Alehouse, by
the way, is one of those "Nine Thousand Beers On Tap" joints that has bizarre
concoctions like chocolate stout (which actually tastes like chocolate) and some
weird South American beer that the Cute Bartendress swears involves natives
chewing something up and spitting it into vats as part of the beer-making
process (Nice, huh? Gimme three). As we're chatting up the Cute Bartendress, she
starts asking us about our evening's plans, as it's only about six or seven PM
at this point. I'm already feeling enough buzz from painkillers, nine kinds of
beer, and South American Indian spit that I chuckle and say "we're heading out
to an Adult Entertainment establishment. We've been made aware of an attraction
that cannot be ignored."

To which the Cute Bartendress replies, "Oh! You're going to see the
midgets!"

Now, the Alehouse is clear on the other side of the city from The Paper
Moon, so her even being aware of The Paper Moon's midgety goodness comes as no
small surprise. We chuckle, and I ask "So you know about that?" To which the
Cute Bartendress replies, "Yeah, I went to see them last night. There's two of
them. One of them smells like apples."

I don't know about you guys, but when a Cute Bartendress tells me that not
only has she seen midget strippers, but knows that one of them smells like
apples, well, that's fucking sexy. And I was unable to restrain myself from
telling the Cute Bartendress this fact. "You know what," I said, "the fact that
you know what a midget stripper smells like, that's fucking sexy." So friend Joe
and I finish our meal, order up a glass each of the beer we liked best, and
settle back for a bit. A few minutes later, Cute Bartendress materializes with a
friend of hers-- Cute Barback (if you don't know what a barback is look it up...
okay, it's like 'assistant bartender'). Turns out that Cute Bartendress and Cute
Barback are both nursing students, and want to know what time we're going to the
Moon. Now, I'll take a moment here to offer some explanation-- some loyal
SlamFans are reading this and thinking "Holy shit-- is SlamShut using the
midgety goodness to score some strange? Will SlamShut cheat on SlamWife, who has
stood by him for over twelve years and endured his endless bullshit, tolerating
repeated entreaties for sex involving motorcycle helmets and Chewbacca sound
effects? COULD IT BE SO?"

The answer is a resounding 'no.'

Taking quick stock of the situation, I decided that going to see midget
strippers would be fully SlamWife Endorsed, but that taking Cute Nursing
Students too see midget strippers would probably end at some point with me
coming home to find all of my shit in boxes in the front yard. So, after a quick
convo with friend Joe, we politely declined the offer, with Joe filing the Cute
Bartendress' digits for later use.

Quick fast-forward here-- we finished at the Alehouse, hit the English pub,
then, at about ten o'clock, set our sights on the Paper Moon. Between the pub
and the titty bar, there was a cell-phone call to SlamWife, in which I joyously
announced that we were headed to see midget strippers. The announcement was met
with the usual SlamWife response, which is a sigh, a shake of the head, and a
"tell me all about it later."

Now, strip clubs in the state of Virginia are a curious proposition--
technically, they don't exist, because full or even topless nudity in a bar is
against the law in this state. But like all things concerning outdated
legislation, the good citizens of Virginia have Figured A Way Around The Law.
And that way is... wait for it... it's a dirty word to any red-blooded,
titty-bar-loving American male... pasties. Being a citizen of the Northern
Virginia area, my friends and I usually go to DC for our titty bar action--
there's practically no laws restricting what goes on in DC titty bars, and it's
a lot more relaxed and fun. But in Virginia, most titty bars you go to have the
girls all wearing these ridiculous colorful little silver-dollar-sized beanies
over there nipples. But at the Paper Moon, it was a different story.

At first glance, when we entered the Moon, it appeared as though the Girls
Of The Paper Moon had just decided to ignore the law-- there were two stages,
one big and one small, with three or four girls strutting their stuff
(normal-sized girls, mind you), with chests proudly bare, and apparently
unencumbered by any pasties. It was only after purchasing a couple of beers and
setting into a couple of chairs pulled up to the main stage that we noticed that
all of the girls appeared to be showing nipples... but they all had the same
nipples. All the same pink-brown crinkly oval-shaped nipples. Nice-looking, to
be sure, but the fact that they all had the same nipples gave the experience a
slight "Village Of The Damned" vibe. The explanation was simple: the Girls Of
The Paper Moon were all wearing fake nipples, over their real nipples.
Incredibly real-looking fake nipples. Like movie-special-effects-real-looking
fake nipples. I'm talking fake nipples so real-looking that if I wore one on my
forehead, you'd say "Dude, you have a fucking nipple growing out of your
forehead." Which I don't, really, which is why it would be notable and amazing.
The other thing about Virginia titty bars that is important to now and germaine
to the story is that there is ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT WITH THE GIRLS WHATSOEVER.
There's even signs all over the place reminding you. And if you even get too
close, a burly bouncer will drag you right out of the joint. In other titty bars
I've been too in other states, the custom for tipping is that the girl will wear
a garter or a g-string, and you tip them by sliding the currency under the
elastic, next to her skin. Hoo-ha, good stuff. But not so at the Moon-- the
custom there is that you 'tent' your dollar (fold it in half lengthwise), and
place it on the perimeter of the stage. The girl will then reward your
philanthropy with about thirty seconds of booty-shaking just for you. Big fun,
huh? But the important thing to notice about this is that it is completely
possible to tell exactly how much skrilla these girls were making per dance,
multiply that by how many appearances they made onstage per night, and come up
with a pretty accurate number for what they were walking away with at the end of
the shift.

So we sat by the stage, tossing down the dollars, enjoyed the
contorting flesh, and counted dollars. Here's the sad part-- each girl was
making six, maybe eight bucks per turn onstage. That's it. Only the guys right
up on the stage (in what the club DJ referred to as "the prime real estate,"
where you MUST TIP or relocate) are putting down the dough, and each girl was
walking away with lunch money. Six or eight bucks. Now, let's multiply that by
the four or five turns onstage that each gets per night, and it becomes clear
that these chicks are walking with maybe fifty bucks for the night. I made more
than that waiting tables on a lunch shift at Red Lobster. That's some sad shit
right there. And keep in mind, this is, as explained before, arguably the
largest strip joint in the state.So two hours or so goes by, and Joe and myself
are getting testy-- where's the fucking dwarves? We paid a fucking cover, and we
wanted to see some fucking nude hobbits, for pete's sake. I decided to visit the
bar and make an inquiry. I left my seat, and by this time, the painkillers and
multiple beers had left me in a state where walking across the floor had begun
to feel like walking on a mattress. I purchased another couple of oat sodas, and
politely inquired about the main attraction.

Actually, what I did was hold up my empty bottle, make the universal sign
for "two more," and when paying for them, hollered/slurred out
"AY-WAIRZA-MIDJITZALREADY" over the booming music. The bartender checked his
watch, then yelled back "TEN MINUTES." I returned to our spot in Prime Real
Estate, and related the news to Joe, and we went to go split up some more
twenties. It was show time.

Ten minutes went by.

Then......the stage was cleared of normal women, and the lights went dark.
There was a moment of hushed silence, and then the opening chords of Rammstein's
"Du Hast" thundered out of the darkness (I must tell you-- as a Jew, nothing
gets me hornier than frightening German techno music with angry teutonic singers
shouting like nazis). A pair of blinding klieg-like spotlights burst open
onstage, and the DJ announced the main attraction, which came sauntering out of
the backstage area: Little Tina, and Luscious Lady.

I couldn't tell you who was Little Tina and who was Luscious Lady, but
there were two of them, just like Cute Bartendress had said-- one was dressed
like a nurse (odd bit of serendipity there), and one was dressed like a
dominatrix. Neither was more than three feet tall. The dominatrix-looking one
was actually kind of cute, in that "aw, look at her" kind of way. Remember that
one episode of Seinfeld with Kramer and Mickey working on the soap opera, with
the "heightening" jokes? Remember the one blonde little lady that Mickey wanted
to get with? She looked a bit like that. But the other one, the one dressed like
a nurse... Jesus Christ. She looked like a fucking orc. They reached the stage,
and immediately tore off their tops, revealing their little midgety boobs. They
were both squat and chubby, but the dominatrix was kind of cute, in a
I've-had-nine-or-ten-beers-and-a-handful-of-painkillers kind of way. But the
other one sent chills down your spine. Her breasts were gnarled and misshapen,
and she had this evil grin which still haunts my dreams. But when those tops
came off those dwarf bodies, the Paper Moon fucking exploded. What had
previously been a rather sullen and sedate crowd seated in the tables out in the
darkness became a shouting mob, louder even than Rammstein. They rushed the
stage, and it fucking rained money. Joe and myself were tossing dollars like
they were confetti, and cackling like hyenas the whole time. I was laughing so
hard I thought I was going to give myself a hernia. Joe and I managed to keep
the dominatrix in front of our spot for a good while, by supplying a steady
stream of dollars. "Du Hast" faded into some other song which was
indistinguishable over the din of the crowd. Dominatrix chick moved to another
spot on the stage, and we were treated to a close-up of Nurse Horror. And it
should be noted at this point that neither of the little ladies had bothered
with with Realistic Nipples that every other girl in the house sported-- these
two appeared to have covered their mommyspigots with ripped pieces of wet toilet
paper. It just added to the ick factor.

So three or four songs went by, and at this point, the dollars on the stage
had come to resemble a pile of autumn leaves, a fact which had to have made the
Moon's regular working girls feel about an inch tall (who's the midget NOW,
bitch?). The little ladies started to wind up their act. The music dropped back
a notch or two, the ladies started to gather their tops, and a Paper Moon
employee appeared with a push-broom to gather their haul. At this point, the
promise that I'd silently made to myself at some point in the evening rushed to
the fore of my mind: I wanted a midget lapdance. I took my remaining
somethingteen dollars and raised them over my head in a crumpled fan, and looked
straight into the dominatrix's eyes, and screamed "LAPDANCE!" She shook her head
in a surprisingly shy manner, and turned away. I shook my dollars defiantly,
took a step towards her, and screamed loud and long:
"LAPDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE!!!"

At this point, I was grabbed by my shirtcoller and yanked back. Why hello
there, bouncer. We were both quickly escorted/carried from the club like
schoolchildren who've been caught reading porno behind our textbooks, with me
hollering "LAPDANCE! SMELLS LIKE APPLES!!!! LAPDAAAANCE!!! " the whole way,
still waving my fistful of cash.

Outside, we smoked a cigarette leaning up against the truck, shaking our
heads, laughing and just saying "Midgets, dude" over and over. After a few
minutes, we hopped in the truck, went home, and drank a bottle of rum. And now,
when friend Joe and I hang out, whenever there's a moment of silence, one of us
will just shake his head and say "Midgets, dude." And friend Joe has still yet
to get a proper date with Cute Bartendress, so to this day we still don't know
how she knew that one of them smelled like apples, when we couldn't get within
three feet of one of them without being tossed like softballs out of the club.
We just chalk it up to the fact that when women go to titty bars, they get away
with murder.

THE END.

2006-02-16T10:19:00.000-05:00

NEWS FLASH!

FOR ALL MEDIA OUTLETS!

Please read the following (link to MSNBC) and get your dumb-ass reporters to stop pestering Wayne Gretzky and Janet Jones-Gretzky:

JANET JONES-GRETZKY IS NOT BEING CHARGED WITH ANYTHING!

That's right, folks, this WHOLE media kerfuffle over Janet being "involved" in the gambling ring is horseshit!

At most, she can be called as a witness in the event of a trial, but as she HAS NOT committed a crime in New Jersey, she CANNOT be charged.

Similarly for Wayne (whose name was NEVER released by the New Jersey Department of Justice) who has NOT committed a crime in New Jersey in connection with the betting ring and therefore cannot be charged. The most that can happen for Wayne is to be called as a witness.

GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK MEDIA HEADS!

THERE IS NO SCANDAL!

If I'm wrong I'll eat my words...with gravy and cheese curds...

2006-02-13T13:11:00.000-05:00

Rumours of my molestation this past weekend in Edmonton by Guido the Prison Pimp were greatly exaggerated.

I survived the road trip with the team to Edmonton, and let me tell you, I have a new found respect for the professional athletes that play in the National Lacrosse League. I can no longer, in all honest, call it a semi-pro league. These guys are professional through and through. Granted the rookies did get a little out of hand, but they paid for it the next day. Here are guys that go out, play one of the orughtest, toughest, fastest sports known to man, party with the fans, crash out for a few hours, hop on a plane with little to no rest, touch down in a new city, de-plane, eat, nap, practice, play another game, party with the fans and the are up again at the crack of dawn the next day to fly home and go to their day jobs the next day. 2 time zones in 2 days, 2 games in two days...I know I get tired as a fan following these guys around, but to actually have played 2 games in 2 days, man, I have a new level of respect for these guys, and anyone bitching that the players don't show up at post gamers anymore is gonna get a pop in the mouth.

I would like to add some more personal commetns if I could about the guys who play for the Rock. I have never felt such a sense of cameraderie before with the exception of my old Midget AA hockey team. I played on a team with a bunch of guys that had been together as a team for almost 6 years, and we were darned good at what we did. The cameraderie that the Rock shows is exactly like that, and while there are no overt mega-stars on the team, they are indeeed much greater than the sum of their parts and carry the mantle of Champions well.

Now onto the low-lights of the trip:
The Edmonton fans.
I'm a little ashamed of them.
For a few reasons.
1st: When Bob Watson took that shot to the head and went down like a ton of bricks, their first reaction was laughter. When the shot was replayed (and they did this about 5 or six times) on the jumbo-tron, fans kept laughing.
2nd: Comments made about the injury. I heard some calling Watson "Faggot!" and "Pussy!" and I heard one fan yell, "Get up you pansy!" Obviously fans who have never experienced the sweet pain of a lacrosse ball...
3rd: Thrown foreign objects. Not only were things thrown at me (yes, I was wearing a Rock jersey) including a paper airplane and popcorn, but also one of the lacrosse balls that are given away with the toss stick set. And not only were these objects thrown at me, but also at Debbie. She had the misfortune of sitting next to me, and as a result was caught by enemy fire.
4th: Personal insults directed at individuals. Now, I'm one for insulting the other team, but when the fans call you out based on the number that appears on your jersey in the stands and then adds an insult, that's even worse.

My night was made, however, by the annonucer at Rexall Place (hereafter referred to as "The Pill" because that's what it looks like from the outside) when he said: "Anyone with a drunken Rock fan sitting next to them, Arena Security will be blind for the next 30 seconds" after the Rock finally took the lead. Overall , the game was a great experience, and I came out of it with a few souvenirs that I didn't have to buy.

So...I entered a contest and I actually WON!

2006-02-03T14:13:00.000-05:00

Yup, that's right!
The original Mr. No-Luck has WON something!
OK, sure, I'm exaggerating, I mean I ahve won things before, but not as BIG as this.

The Toronto Sun and the Toronto Rock were running a contest, see, and I entered MANY MANY times and I sorta won.

Here's what I won:
2 tickets to Toronto Rock vs Rochester Knighthawks on Feb 10.
1 night at the Westin Harbour Castle.
1 round trip flight for 2 to Edmonton leaving 9:15 AM Feb 11, returning Feb 12.
1 night at an unspecified hotel in Edmonton.
2 tickets to the Edmonton Rush vs Toronto Rock on Feb 11.
$150 per diem for Saturday, Feb 11, 2006.

Yes, I'm kinda happy..

2006-01-23T12:48:00.000-05:00

Yay!

It's ELECTION DAY here in The Great White North, and I can tell you that the Canadian political landscape will never be the same!

The Liberals (LIB), falling rapidly in the polls, are close to being overtaken by the New Democratic Party (NDP), but the Conservatives (CON) are currently the front-runners in the hours leading up to the close of the polls. The Bloq Quebecois (BLQ) are bring up the rear with the Green Party (GRN) and The Marijuana Party (THC) bringing up the rear trailing by a great deal.

Here's what I'm afraid is going to happen --> The CONs will win a moajority government, taking 167 seats in the 332 seat Parliament:

In a move to erase the LIB tax cut (dropping the lowest tax rate for the bottom bracket from 16%-15%), the CONs will drop the GST 1% to 6% and then try to RAISE taxes (this has been their stated plan all along, but no-one has paid any attention to it). If the CONs win a majority government, it WILL happen, whether we like it or not. Corporations will still get their tax cuts, which helps the little guy (like me) not at all, the income tax rate for the lowers bracket will go back up to 16%, and as a matter of fact, we can expect to see taxes go up as much as 6% in the next 5 years. Additionally, you can watch gay marriage and same-sex rights go out the window if Harper and the CONs come to power. I don't know if anyone recalls this, but he was involved with Preston Manning's Reform party before they became the Conservative Alliance Party of Canada...Yeah, those right wing nutbars from Alberta and parts West. The more likely result is that the CONs will win a minority government taking less than 166 seats, and have to make strategic alliances to ensure that they remain in power.

The NDP will hold the LIB tax line (lowest to 15%) but not introduce any more tax cuts, while at the same time beefing up spending on health care and social programs while gutting the mililtary to balance the budget. Johnny Frontline and his soldier buddies wno't be getting new boots for a while, and as for fresh BVDs? Wash 'em in the desert sand boys, ain't no relief coming from Ottawa if the NDP win. They are the outside dark horse to take this election and look to be the official oppositi

The LIBs will do what they have always done. Renege on promises.
Sure, they cut the lowest tax bracket rate to 15%, but that doesn't help me. I'm in the 26% range right now, and knowing my luck I'll be in the 33% bracket before I know it. Supposedly, however, they are going to be lowering taxes across the board over the course of the next 5 years, so the bracket I'm in will drop to around 22% (or 29% if I'm really unlucky). Of course, that's if they can get the measures passed through Parliament without another no confidence vote (if they win).

The BLQ are an outside shot at best. Being a regional partyu (in Quebec only) they ahve no chance of winning power, but do stand a chance at being part of the Official Opposition. Good luck to them.

Remember: Go out and VOTE. If you don't vote, you have no right to complain about the crappiness of the government!

2006-01-18T10:19:00.000-05:00

The fallout from the James Cardinal McGuigan Incident continues.
The Principal has been terminated by the Toronto District School Board. Kevin Kobus, a director of the Catholic School Board stated that the arrests and the controversy had taken their toll on both the school and Principal Matthews and that a fresh start was needed. The Vice Principal was also removed, and the Catholic School Board insists that both individuals were involved in the decision and decided to step down "for the good of the school."
David Matthews is currently working in policy development with the Catholic School Board.
There is currently a deal on the table for 12 of the 16 students, but they won't see the inside of a court room until Feb 21, when, hopefully, some more light will be shed on the entire incident.

Meanwhile...in the rest of the country:

Jack Layton got snowed in in the Maritimes.
Harper and Martin are stumping in Ontario.
Duceppe is stumping in Quebec.
The Habs are still behind the Leafs in the standings.
The Toronto Rock are 0-3, the Calgary Roughnecks are 1-0 and the Edmonton Rush are 0-2. With a little luck, the Edmonton Rush, the NLLs newest franchise may be ahead of the Toronto Rock, last year's champions, with a win in Calgary this weekend...hey, it could happen, and I know Barks Dawg is rroting for 'em!
I'm going to be paying more taxes next year because despite my votes, Harper will win a majority...

I'm voting Liberal in the federal election, and here's why:
Harper has proposed a cut to the GST that will initially save Canadians about $4 Bil. However, he also plans on raising other taxes (though they won't be called taxes, they'll be "premiums" and "service charges") to the tune of $5 Bil, meaning we are all going to be $1 Bil out of pocket. I don't know about you, but when I hear the words "tax cuts" I tend to think I'll be left with more money overall.
Layton and the NDP will tax and spend their way to glory.
The only option that makes sense for me now is the Liberals. Why? Because under them, my income taxes will go from 26% to 22%. For me, that's a savings of about $1600/yr. My roommate will have her taxes cut from 17% to 15% which works out to $450 per year. That's $10 000 that we can put towards a mortgage, a car, a savings plan, etc...

Anyhoo, enough about that...hope everyone is sane and safe and we'll talk to you again soon!

Apologies to AZCowgirl...Sorry, Heather, I owe you a hug!

2006-01-13T09:30:00.000-05:00

Well, it's here...the second game of the National Lacrosse League season and my first half-day's vacation.

It's something that drives my supervisor nuts, and I had promised I wouldn't do it, but I can't countenance taking a whole day off for a lacrosse game that starts at 7:30PM. See, in the past coupld of years, I've been "stretching out" my vacation days by taking 1/2 days only, effectively turning 10 and 15 days vacation into 20-30. But that's inherently unfair to the rest of my co-workers because it means that on a day I take a half day, no one else can take a vacation and it impacts service levels for the last half of the day. Not good. Whereas if I take a full day, the rest of my co-workers won't have to adjust for the sudden increase in workload halfway through the day...it's all about being fair to them.

So now that I have 20 days of vacation (the benefits of five years of service...aaaahhh) I plan on taking one week off per quarter. Unless it's during lacrosse season, in which case the vacation days will be spaced out a ltitle bit. F'rinstance: The first days that I have booked are all Toronto Rock lacrosse games and my birthday. Yes, this year I can turn my birthday into a long weekend, and not feel guilty about it. See, my birthday this year falls on the NLL All-Star Game weekend...meaning that on Friday, Feb 24, my birthday, the Rock play against Philly and then on Saturday, Feb 25, there's the All-Star Game...can't say that I am going to be conscious that weekend at all, or coherent.

But today marks the day that I have to go into The Overdraught Pub and collect my stuff after a particularly disastrous weekend last weekend. It was the season opening game for the Rock at home at the ACC vs the Arizona Sting and I started early. Those that know me know what that means. Yes, that's right, I started pounding drinks back at about 3 in the afternoon for a 7:00 start. Well, needless to say, by the time the post-game party rolled around, I was three sheets to the wind and fading fast, and I went to pay my bill. I don't know how it happened, but apparently I gave the waiterss my DEBIT card instead of a CREDIT card to pay and the next thing I know, she's walking away. In an alcohol indiced stupor, I staggered around the bar after her, tyelling at her to come back with whatever it is that she had, and she stops, skates my credit card across the bar at me and says "We're done here." I say "What?" She says "You're done!" So I figure I'm being thrown out and I leave without paying my tab. Ooops. Apparently, this is what I did. I don't really remember because I had downed 7 pints before I got back to the bar. So now I have to trek back to TO and apologize and appear meek and explain the situation and remember to cash and carry.

I also have to run a few errnads today, and doing all of that by public transit is going to be a pain in the ass. I can only hope that it stay dry so I can take the Miata out for a small spin to get everything done in time (I hope my dad doesn't read this, or he'll KILL me!) for my 4:30 rdv with my brother downtown.

I'll have more to post after the game...if the Rock win.

Remember the James Cardinal McGuigan School Incident?

2006-01-11T17:46:00.000-05:00

Most people don't.
A 16 year old girl made allegations of molestation, sexual assault, forcible confinement and assault and battery against 16 schoolmates at the west-end high school in late November 2005. This incident caused a stir for a few reasons, most being quick to play the race card and raise a hue and cry about supposed police brutality. Here's what I posted on my Xanga site (http://www.xanga.com/rocklax) in November when it happened:
James Cardinal McGuigan School students arrested for alleged molestation. Parents cry racism and class-ism. A few years ago a 16 year old Eastern European girl had immigrated to Canada with her family to avoid issues like bullying and molestation in schools. She finally came forward last week with allegations of sexual molestation, forcible confinement, physical abuse and threats at the hands of students at her high school. She told a teacher at the school of what had been happening to her both on school grounds and on properties off the grounds of the school, and as a result of her coming forward to a teacher, the teacher, as is their responsibility under Canadian law, told the police. In response to these allegations of molestation, confinement, abuse and threats, the police acted on her story and proceeded to arrest 14 male students and 2 female students. As per standard police procedure, these students were taken from where they were arrested in handcuffs and marched out of the school to confinement. The students were marched past teachers and other students in cuffs to waiting paddy wagons and their parents were contacted. In some cases, however, the parents weren't contacted directly (for whatever reason...school records are only so accurate. Heck, even my office gets bad contact information on pensioners and pension plan members, through no fault of our own) but found out through friends. One family was contacted, not by the school, but by a friend of the family, who, coincidentally enough had the same last name as them. However, that is not the issue here. The parents are inflamed at these arrests, claiming that it is racially motivated and based on class as well. Here's the 4-1-1: The student who has made these allegations is white. The students who were arrested were black. The parents are crying that the Metropolitan Toronto Police Department is racist because the only students that are being arrested are black. The parents are crying that the principal of James Cardinal McGuigan is racist. The individuals in question were arrested based on the fact that this student gave their NAMES to police, suggesting that all the suspects are known to her. Based on her identifications the students are arrested on various charges and this is where the fun starts. At their arraignment hearing today, all the students who were arrested and charged were released on $1500 bail. They are being placed under house arrest, being permitted to go to school and to work only. No extra-curricular activities, no internet, no cell-phones. The students are forbidden to contact one another, and forbidden to contact their accuser. As a matter of fact, all of the students are required to remain at least 500m away from their accuser. The City of Toronto has made the students and their families aware of other schools in the area where they live (the notoriously crime-ridden Jane and Finch area of Toronto) where there students can attend classes.
It's a no-win situation, any way you slice it... I'm not sure about anyone else, but there is no way that the City of Toronto or the Toronto Police can come out of this without a scratch. Had it been a black girl and white boys and girls that were arrested, there would have been accusations that in the 18 months the girl did NOT come forward, the city and police did nothing to protect their interests. As it is, with a white accuser and black accused, the allegations of racism won't stop. Had it been black on black, the parents would have been crying that not enough is being done to enforce laws. Had it had been white on white, we would have heard nothing.

Here's my take, and I'm sure it will raise eyebrows and start a whole bunch of post dredging, but here it is nonetheless: I don't care if you are black, white, Puerto-Rican, Oriental or Haitian, if there have been allegations that you broke the law and the police have no way of knowing if you are armed or not, then it is necessary for them to take you from your location to central booking in cuffs for their safety, the safety of the people around them and your safety. If they have your name and description, it's better to go along. If you have been falsely accused (as almost all of the parents are claiming and as I am almost certain is not the case) better to avoid complicating matters and go along than resist and fuss. I am reasonably certain that there have been innocent individuals scooped up along with the guilty in this case, but as is the way with the Canadian justice system (HA!) you are innocent until proven guilty. If any of these allegations are true, heads will roll, as well they should, Youth Justice Act or not. If these are false allegations, then things will NOT go well for the girl who brought these allegations forward.

As it stands now, there is not enough evidence in the public domain for anyone to make a judgment at this point, but the majority of the fuel being throw on this fire is allegations of racism. The parents are not making claims that their sons and daughters were falsely arrested (at least not that I have read or heard to date) but that the arrests were race based.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: If you break the law, I don't care what your skin color is; you should be leaving in cuffs.

To be perfectly honest, it seems kind of hinky. 16 people are accused in this case, with the abuses happening over an 18 month period from April/May of 2004, and some of the accused were in the girl's homeroom. Recent shot fired in this case from one of the mothers of the accused: Explain to me how this makes sense. I got caught blowing someone at school (let's say) so instead of 'fessing up and taking the blame for an act that may or may not have been voluntary (I don't have all the facts, I can't judge) I turn around and accuse 15 other people of abusing me and thus bringing more attention down on my head? Yeah, right. That makes sense. A lot of the mother's are saying that their children don't know this girl at all. Now I don't know about you, but as a general rule I have found kids to be pretty good liars. My brother managed to hide his drug abuse from them for five years before it got him kicked out of University. Heck, I've been smoking for the past 14 years and my parents don't know. They also think that I still go to the gym and that Anubis and I are still together, but that's another story. Long story short, we won't be able to make final judgment on the case in the court of public opinion until all the fact are known. And if there were some acts caught on videotape, as has been suggested by the accuser, this may go faster than we think. Lasting mental image: One of the accused in this case smiled when he was told he'd be going home on $1500 bail, apparently looking like the cat that got the cream...at least that's what the papers say. Some more dirt: At a closed door meeting with parents of the accused last night a woman circulated a petition to have the principal of James Cardinal McGuigan fired because of "racial profiling, prejudice and discrimination: uttering racial slurs against the black students." When asked if she knew who James Matthews was, the principal, she replied "Who's Mr. Matthews? He said nothing to me." and when asked why he should be fired, she repeated her allegations. The parents of the accused are calling for someone's head and they don't even know who that person is. Additionally, what really shocks me is the lack of concern for the accuser. All we are hearing from are the accused's parents, and nothing from the accuser...When did alleged perpetrators right supersede those of the alleged victim?
LAST BUT NOT LEAST Here's an update on the situation: This was taken from CityTV.com's website. It's an article that was posted this morning that I caught on Breakfast Television: Offer Tabled: Charges against a dozen students accused of harassing one of their classmates at a Toronto high school may be dropped if they agree to a deal. The 12 teens – all of whom face lesser charges in the case, which stemmed from a female student’s allegations of abuse at James Cardinal McGuigan Catholic High School – would apparently have to admit responsibility for their actions, although they’d be pleading not guilty, and agree to a court-ordered program. The program, likely consisting of counseling or volunteer work, would have to be completed before the charges were dropped. The Youth Criminal Justice Act allows such an alternative, which is directed at teens who are accused in a criminal case but have no previous record. At least one girl, charged with one count of threatening death, has reportedly accepted the deal. Others may follow, but it’s been suggested their lawyers are waiting for more evidence to be brought forward before agreeing to it. No such offers were made to four others accused in the case – they’re facing more serious charges of sexual assault. The 16-year-old complainant came forward last November, telling a teacher she had endured 14 months of sexual abuse and threats from students. The teacher then contacted police, who arrested two teens a day later. The following Monday, 14 more students were arrested at the school – a move that shocked and infuriated parents. Four boys were charged with sexual offences in the case, while the remaining 12 – ten boys and two girls – faced counts of criminal harassment or threatening death. All were released on bail, but with conditions. Parents of the accused complained that the allegations and arrests were racially motivated – all of the accused are black, while the accuser is white. The youths are due back in court Feb. 21. January 11, 2006 I would encourage comments, because escalating youth violence, what with the Boxing Day death of Jane Creba and the wounding of another 9 people on Yonge St outside the Eaton Centre in my hometown of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, is an ongoing concern that cannot be blamed on the media or music or video games or television or movies. There has to be a solution, and hopefully we can find it.

Ummm...taps mic is this thing on?

2006-01-11T17:11:00.000-05:00

Hey, y'all...ya found me!
Yeah, I know, I know...not another blog, man, there's too many...it's so five minutes ago...
Uh-huh, I know, and I'm a little slow jumping on the bandwagon, but I finally gave up on my Xanga site, because no one read it or left comments (I guess I'm just THAT boring) so I figured I'd give blogspot a try!

I won't, unfortunately, be updating it every day, but I will try at least once a week. I can't promise more than that. When you have as much shtuff on the go as I do (NOT!) it's hard to come up with fresh and original stuff...stay tuned!

Meathead's World

Are you really the "you" you remember?

I just don't understand some people...

Hate Laws - Applied to Whites Only?

Meathead's World

Meathead's World

Meathead's World

Meathead's World

Well, I'm not proud...and here's why...

Anti-Gay Protesters Bring Shame on Themselves

Meathead's World

Meathead's World

Meathead's World

Meathead's World

Meathead's World

Had to put this up

This is a barometer of how we would get along in real life:

Oops! Looks like my life is pretty boring, eh?

Sooo...it's been a while...

So...I entered a contest and I actually WON!

Remember the James Cardinal McGuigan School Incident?

Ummm...*taps mic* is this thing on?

Ummm...taps mic is this thing on?