What did I post last year at around this time? Oh, yeah...Yup, it's Merch-mas. That time of year when we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ by going out and blowing scads and scads of cash on useless trinkets and bibbledy-bobs that will get re-gifted anyways. Seriously, how did three wise men bringing gold and frankincense and myrrh to the saviour of man kind turn into a jolly fat man giving away rocking horses and toy trains and gewgaws to kids screaming for iPods and Dells and that their parents don't love them if they don't get them...

Personally, I bought gifts I bought for the ones I love based on the thought that think they might like them, and if they don't, there's ways around it. They can always resell the gifts I bought them because the gifts are transferable. They all got season tickets for the Toronto Rock. That's right, I'm spreading the lacrosse love around, baby. They now have tickets to the same insane sporting events I go to, and I think they might actually like it. If not, hey, their resale value is about $200, so that should make 'em happy. Turn the gift into cash and buy something for themselves that they actually want...and if they're internet savvy, they'll have found my blog by now and will know about the gifts, but at this point, I just don't care.

Yup. It's that friggin' time of year again. That time where you scour the crowded malls, pushing through the jostling, perspiring, smelly, insistent, rude crowd to get to the store that has what you think the people on your gift list want, only to find that they are sold out, or that it's $200 more than you expected...Me? I'm going gift certificates this year.

That's right.

None of this: "Well, I got you what I thought you wanted...don't you like puce colored wool sweaters?" or "Oh! A...what is this again? No, no, no, really, I love it!" Screw that. I'm getting everyone gift certificates and gift cards to their favourite stores so I don't have to cudgel my poor addled brains to try to figure out what they want. Nothing is more frustrating to me that trying to get my parents or my brother to tell me what they want for Christmas. Seriously...I mean it's KILLING ME trying to figure out what my brother wants. I know, I know, it should be easy. After all, he's family, and he's only 4.5 years younger than me, but our lives have taken radically different paths. I mean, he's experimented with drugs. The strongest drugs I've ever done was maybe a little weed on New Years back in 1997. He parties like a fiend. I'm usually in bed by 11. I mean, really what do I get for him? I can't get him nothing, that's just inconsiderate, but I figure a gift card to HMV might be just the thing. I think he'll appreciate the fact that I'm completely out of touch, and a $50 Gift Card will let him know exactly how much I'm willing to spend on him so that in future, if he decides he wants a real gift instead of a gift certificate, he knows what sort of price range we're looking at here.

The parents are easy: wine. South African, Chilean, Aussie. Reds. Whites give my mom headaches. I have a few in mind, but I might go Vintages this year at the LCBO and surprise them.

The roommate? That's a little more difficult. Anyone know where I can find a copy of Rammstein's Volkerball? Yeah...thought so...HMV is really not a help and anywhere I order from won't have it shipped by Christmas, so I'm up a certain creek without a paddle on that one...I'll figure something out...oh, and gifts for Martin, Pattie, Jason, Karen, Elsie, Rose, Calvin, Joe, Bonnie, Grandma and Grampa, Sylvia, Billy, Colene, Ron...*sigh* at $50 each, I'm looking at $1000 easy in gift certificates...maybe I'll just get 'em $25 gift certificates instead...yeah, that's the ticket...

See what I mean?

Merry Merch-mas everyone! I'm off to the pub to get drunk!